


I know angels don’t exist

by Animillion



Category: Dr. STONE (Anime), Dr. STONE (Manga)
Genre: Father/Son Incest, Fear, Hallucinations, Incest, M/M, Manga Spoilers, TKS - On a Boat, TKSSummerTimeFunEvent2020, TKSevents, TheKingdomofShipping, first person POV, worrying
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-30
Updated: 2020-06-30
Packaged: 2021-03-04 01:41:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,778
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24995545
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Animillion/pseuds/Animillion
Summary: I have two clear illnesses. And Byakuya has to do with both of them.It’s stunning how real the mind can make a hallucination. How vivid his face is. How warm his hand is when it touches my shoulder. How real it feels. To have him here. It’s absolutely terrifying.
Relationships: Ishigami Byakuya/Ishigami Senkuu
Comments: 2
Kudos: 11
Collections: TKS Summer Time Fun Event (June and July)





	I know angels don’t exist

“Is there anyone you’ve ever fell in love with?”

I know there’s no such thing as angels. 

“Senku? No way, I’m sure the only eyes he’s ever had is for science.” 

But I’m praying so hard right now. I look over at my friends. The ship is sailing rather smooth tonight. There’s a light sea breeze coming over the rail and Suika has just been put to bed. I glance to Ryusui, our ever efficient captain. He’s definitely proven his worth. There’s just too many questions in our adult only time that I’m unsure how to answer. 

I glance over to the railing of the boat. There he is. In an old white button down, brown pants, and loafers. My father, Byakuya. I realized soon after he appeared that it was only I who was able to see him. My friends would have no idea what to make of me if I said something about it. So I keep quiet from them, only glancing away from their prying eyes. What was that question? Love? Love was only a chain reaction of chemicals formed by familiarity over time, but, I’m also a tragic victim of it. 

“Oh? What’s that Senku-Chan? Why so quiet?” Gen grins at me in curiosity. 

That mentalist was too curious for his own good. What would they do if I say yes to such a question? I definitely _believe_ in love. It’s a science in itself. Taiju and Yuzuriha are great examples of that. The person I’m thinking of, though, is nothing like the love between them. It was even stranger than Ruri and Chrome, too, despite that their blood lines are hardly a fragment crossed. 

I glance again to Byakuya, who is just enjoying himself over there. An angel is what some people might call him, or maybe a spirit or something of that nature. I’ve died before. There are no such beings. There is no god. There is nothing. My heart speeds a little in my chest and I have to remember quick to shake the thought and remember to answer them. 

“Yeah, sure, I’ve fallen in love, who hasn’t?” I get gasps from all of them, it’s funny to see, “but romantic endeavors in this time? Please, you know there’s more things to worry about than that.” There really is a terrible amount of things we have to do before I could even think of a partner. No, there is hardly time. Everyday passes and I am begging to see land again. The ocean is beautiful, but it’s length is detrimental to my health. 

I stand up, too tired to discuss my answer further. They wouldn’t get what they wanted out of me- and if they did, they’d regret it. Their hungry eyes say they want more details but I am far too gone for that. The explanation would be as vast and drawn out as the ocean we sail on. 

“I’m turning in, you all should too.” I point out to them. There’s no one else in the cabins. I need to be alone. So I can talk with Byakuya again without all of them thinking I’m crazy. They wouldn’t be wrong to think that. I get into the cabins and look to the man following me. The last time we talked was before boarding the ship. When I told him to go. 

I have so many errands on my check list and none of them involve Byakuya. 

When I think we’re finally alone- at least ear shot wise- I sigh and look to him. He’s always just standing there. Again, when our eyes meet, he smiles at me. It hurts. A part of me hopes his being here means this is all just a dream. But that hope itself is nothing but a dream. 

“What are you doing here?” I asked that the first time. He responds the same. 

“I’m here for you, Senku.” I feel my eyes sharpen at him. He has no right to be here. And he only showed up a short time ago. 

“What do you mean?”

“I’m here for you.” He smiles again and I turn from him. 

“It’d be best if you weren’t, you’re a big distraction, you know, and I don’t have time for distractions.” The only sound between us is the boats rocking and I can’t help but feel sea sick at the silence. 

I hear him shift and look up to see him closer. He touches my face and I don’t know why or how I can feel his touch. But it’s too familiar to not lean in to. It’s too familiar to not feel hurt by. 

“What’s wrong with me?” I ask, not only wishing to know what part of my brain has begun to grow unwanted formations, but also because I wish to be closer with him. He smiles at me. So happy without a care in the world and I wish I could feel the same. 

“You are perfect the way you are.” He says to me. 

I sigh and step back, watching his soft smile turn to a frown. “I can’t be talking with you, people are gonna think I’m crazy... I think I’m crazy.”

“I’ve got something wrong with me right? Some part of me that’s pressing on just the right parts of my brain to make me have such vivid hallucinations?” Perhaps a tumor? He shiver and bite my lip and look down at the wood beneath my feet. How long? Surely it was after I was revived the first time. Had to be. If I can figure out how to work the petrification device I should surely be able to- 

“Senku.” 

I look up to him. I have two clear illnesses. And Byakuya has to do with both of them. 

It’s stunning how real the mind can make a hallucination. How vivid his face is. How warm his hand is when it touches my shoulder. How real it feels. To have him here. It’s absolutely terrifying. 

“I’m here for you.” His smile seems a little sadder this time, but I’ve never been the best at expression reading anyways. 

“I’m so proud of you, Senku.” 

I can’t help but smirk at such an obvious statement. Of course you would be proud. The real Byakuya was proud if I built nuclear weapons. There’s never a doubt that you’re proud. Never a doubt that you believe in me. 

“I’ve been painfully aware all my life.” 

“Why are you so troubled son? Was it the question your friends asked?” 

I feel my cheeks redden and pull away from him again. Why would he even think it was that anyways? His hands lower to his side as he just smiles at me patiently. As if I can give him any satisfying answer. He’s apart of my head so he should already know what’s bothering me. Or maybe not. Perhaps he’s simply a visual projection of some part of my twisted self longing to see him again. Maybe the farther I get from Japan feels the farther I get from him.. it doesn’t make much sense considering a lot of my childhood he was gone away to astronaut training. 

“You’re awful chatty tonight.”

“You’re the one who started with me.” He laughs lightly. 

He doesn’t let it get quiet again, picking up where his question left off, “it’s okay that you’re in love with me, there’s nothing to be ashamed of.”

“Nothing to be ashamed of?” My face has never felt hotter at a statement. There’s nothing wrong with loving a man, of course. But loving someone in a way you are not supposed to? Someone who’s raised you? It doesn’t sit right on the tongue of the status quo. And I’m sure this new world wouldn’t be very keen on that either. 

“Nothing at all.” His hand is touching my face now and he pulls my chin up to look at him. “You know I’ve always..”

“Stop.” His face is mere centimeters away from mine. I can feel his breath. His heartbeat. His warmth. And god does he smell like black coffee and ink. Just like he had the last time I saw him. “Please just tell me what you’re here for.”

“I’m here for you, Senku.” He says as if I should know what the hell that means. I don’t. I wish I did. I wish it was a dream and I could wake up and feel like a guilty son of a bitch in a world where he isn’t dead and the world hadn’t gone to hell in a hand basket. Where I could hear him for real. 

“You’re not real.” I feel his breath tangle with mine and for a moment I think our lips will touch. A part of me prays that they do. But I open my eyes and he’s gone. 

“Senku?”

It’s Ryusui coming into the cabins. I must look crazy to him standing here alone in the dark. Probably muttering to myself. I glance around but my hallucination has gone. I sigh. 

“You okay?” 

I straighten my posture and look to the other captain. He looks worried and he looking around to see if there was anyone else here I’m sure. 

“I’m fine.”

“Who were you talking to?”

“No one, I just...” he looks too concerned about me. “I mostly traveled by plane during modern times, my body is still adjusting to its sea legs.” 

He grins and laughs. “Don’t worry! A few more days and you’ll be feeling tip top shape! Captain’s promise!” 

“I’ll be going to bed now... you guys don’t stay up too late.”

“Don’t be such a mom,” Ryusui pokes fun at him, “I’ll be joining you soon.. but seriously tell me if there’s something going on, you’re not that good at hiding your emotional changes.” 

He leaves before I can even question him. 

I lay in bed, thinking of what hallucination Byakuya told me. How he was here for me. Was he here for me? For my soul? For my heart? What was he here for? I guess it’s convenient he left so soon. When Ryusui has appeared. Maybe I’ll ignore Byakuya for awhile. Then he can go away for good. 

I can think that, but it doesn’t mean it will happen. 

My lips tingle with the almost remembrance of his. I know it’s too good to be true, that he’s an angel. But for tonight, I wish to believe it just for a little while. To indulge my fantasy. But in the morning I need to draft blueprints for something that’d work in place of an MRI. 

For now though, I’ll believe. 

“ _That you’re an angel_ ”

**Author's Note:**

> This was originally inspired by a Grey’s Anatomy arc. QwQ one that still breaks my heart to this day. I finally figured out how to put this WIP to good use. Anyways, if you know the arc I’m talking about plz cry with me. If not, I hope you enjoyed regardless ❤️


End file.
